In two days, it will be the first of August. More than half my summer is over, and I have overcome a struggle that will excel me into a lifetime of struggles.

My days are humble and extremely repetitive. It's my first summer in which I can indulge in alone-time without regretting it afterwards. I am exactly what Mehr likes to call me "Someone who thinks wayyyyy too much" It can be a bad thing, I know but it's helped me realize my biggest struggle this year: I continue to find myself on a new level of my identity, and as I revive myself, I discover a revelation that will last me my whole life, and hopefully be rewarded for it.

This time around, my identity lies in a pit of overbearing emotions and the past year, I didn't how to deal with them. I was so angry at the world, like my mother would say. I was so frustrated with insignificant things in my life, and all I could do is dwell in this cave with no echoe, no reply to my emotional outpour.

But alhamdulillah, Allah has given me the perception to observe myself, and instead of solving the dilemma with my self-pity (which doesn't last very long, anyways), I would surmount these emotions, and use them to help me grow.

My anger, as one emotion, has been alleviated and I hope that with every struggle 10x the intensity of this one, my anger languishes.


Every tragedy. Every celebration. Every challenge in my life is a blessing.
And only I can make it one.

Every other hour, i force myself to recall these violent outbursts of anger and frustration at the world, at the people, but mostly at myself. Then the tears start pouring, and it stings because I am shamed by my lack of self-control.

“ The strong is not the one who over comes the people by his strength”
"But the strong is the one who controls him while in anger." Bukhari

Ya'Allah give us the strength to control.