As Salam U Alaikum,

I look back at some of my previous entries and realize sudden changes of style in the way I express. It's awkward to see myself ramble on about school on one account and then by the next entry, I'm pouring out my emotions eloquently with caution. It might seem as if I'm "pulling a front" and engendering a new identity for myself to conceal insecurities and blanket my fears. Yet my emotions are all dependent on the speccific time and place I feel them. I spend my winter break/holiday vacation rummaging through old scrapbooks and pictures, finishing a book we only read half of in school (black boy by richard wright), and talking on instant messenger. Hah, once again I feel like a waste of life and care to criticize myself through writing this entry. Again I question my genuity. The feelings I display in this journal are all true, but how far can I express without tarnishing it with sweet little lies? It hasn't happened and wouldnt, but sometimes, those decieving actions are automatically triggered withing myself and it just flows into words. But for this journal, I'm keeping it real.

Alhamdulillah.