23 Feb 2005
I turn to You
My heart full of shame,
My eyes full of tears.
Bestow Your
Forgiveness and Mercy
Upon me.
-Sami Yusuf
Supplication.

I won't post much today considering its 2:15 AM, I have school tomorrow, and I only wish to post back substance into my blogs. I'm usually not a big fan of incessant rambling and posting AIM conversations (never do I care less for dear Serene).

Sami Yusuf has got to be one of my favorite nasheed artists, and this is probably the case for a majority of nasheed fans. These verse speaks out for me and I'm sure for man, but it personally makes me feel like its directed towards me and it stirs emotions.

This verse makes me realize, how scared I am. I've always wanted to believe I'm this bold, brazen Rosie the Riveter, dauntless in all her tasks and deeds. But I am not.
I'm timorous and afraid for my future, for myself.

Ever since the end of Ramadan, I've experience this epiphany in which I realized my biggest fear- Death. I fear the day I bond with my Creator. Why so?
Because my 11th hour is over, and I have no 12 to amend for my sins. I've had these recurring daydreams that I die in a car accident and my last words would be "La Ilaha Ilala Muhammad ur Rasulullah"

Some believe that one should make the best out of life, with a bright smile and optimism, but how can I do that when every other second, I fear what I am doing is wrong, senseless, and not enough to be rewarded in the end of this test.

Allahu Alim.
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And would you look'ey here. Once again, I have digressed into a lengthy post, breaking my promise for succinctness :-/