You know, it's quite amazing how one can selfishly believe that they are able to handle a situation that troubles them, but in fact everything collapses around them.

At times when I am on the verge of breaking down into tears and giving up hope, I realize how weak I am, really. I always have believed that I would never! I wouldn't dare fail my own iman by giving up and feeling desperately alone, as if no one was there to aid me.

Alhamdulillah, amidst the overwhelming stress from school and the pressures that high standards burden you with, I was able to recover, not so surprisingly after Isha. Althought it wasn't much of a prayer, since my mind was scattered in every direction possible, I was at least able to think about how wrong I was to break down emotionally when I knew that inside of me, outside of me, and whereever I was, there was of course, this indelible aura of Allah's existence.

His mercy engulfs us in times of struggle, yet we do not realize because Shaitan blinds us with hopelessness. His blessings are most evident in our struggles I did not realize this until the last prayer, how beautiful really, His bounties were at the moment.

And now, I sit here two days later, filling out my U. of Maryland at College Park application, online, with the remnants of my biology lab scattered on the floor (it took me 8 dark hours last night to complete, but alhamdulillah), yet I'm coping with it all and I couldn't thank God enough.


PS- Make dua that my college applications get done and I soon get accepted from my top schools, inshaAllah!