Thursday, December 09, 2004


Way too many mistakes on my plate
Current mood: lonely

Oscar wilde, this irish playrights who's plays I really haven't read and don't really want to, did once say that experience is the name we give all our mistakes. Looks like I'll be one heck of an experience woman. I agree with pretty much everyone that knows me that I'm really hard on myself, but I feel like there is no doubt that I make more mistakes that anyone I know. I wouldn't say its a fact, but that's how I feel and it really is frustrating. But I'm trying to be the optmistic person that sometimes I am not, and realize that after all these mistakes, I can learn from them, and be a better person.

But can one reach the point in which they have made mistakes beyond comprehension that it makes the person seem like they are one big mistake? I don't have enough low self-esteem to say I'm one of them, but I'm sick of not realizing things and thinking ahead. Maybe I'm just so stupid, that I can't analyze things before I decide upon it, or maybe I can't focus. Oh shoot, maybe I have ADD?! That should explain my off the wall rantings that occur sporadically in the day and my unpredictable mood swings.


I've botched up decisions in all aspects, my life in general. School grades, priorities, family....friends. And I regret it because people go through life wihtout making these mistakes. But maybe I'm meant to make these mistakes to learn from them because people come to me. They come for advice and I can advise them with my experience.

I just hope people are forgiving of my mistakes, and I, too, can be forgiving of others. This world wouldn't be so dramatic, then, or at least on my side of the spectrum :-/

Currently reading:
Islamic Politics and the Modern World (Reference Shelf, Vol 62, No 5)
By Andrew C. Kimmens
Release date: By 01 April, 1991