I had tuna sushi today. And HALAL teriyaki chicken. I also used chopsticks for the second time in my life and failed miserably, as expected. At least I didn't flick any eel skin to another table like I did last time.

Talia and Elissa (miss chopstick skillzz as demonstrated on the right) were my shopping partners today althought I detest the mall and just trailed along with them. Palisades mall is humongous and has every store imagineable yet the only ones I found appealing were Barnes and Nobles and the Coldestone Creamery. I refrained myself. Actually the girls refrained me with their addictive shopping habits. But it's allll good. (talia and elissa in the picture below)

Anyways, tomorrow is Halaqa night once again and I cannot wait inshaAllah and hopefully we can start up the tafsir class on Friday at my house. Girls, 7-9 at my house with a Quran, be there! We gon' dhikr it upp, yeahyeahhh.

As for other news, there is no other news.
Keep it halal.

That's going to be my new signature. Keep it halal.

...but I'm still the official takbir girl.
TAKBIR! (I best be getting some Allahu Akbars up in here)

Being a g.i.r.l is a drag.

PS- MYNA needs reps. to go to New Orleans for ISNA's islamic relief program. I have to go but NOOOO, I'm a GIRL (says backwards desi culture). So now I'll stop whining and go do girl stuff like cooking, cleaning, and looking pretty so my handsome but innately stupid knight of shining armor can save me so I can cook, clean and look pretty for him TOO.

actually I feel better now that i vented...down with you XY's. DOWN! :P i keed.


30 minutes later...
Ok. I'm not going to delete my previous post just because this blog is all about expressing myself even if I don't make any sense or I sound like a naive, whining little brat. I don't want to get any "You'll understand when you're older" lectures about why desi culture is the way it is.
I have given this a lot of thought. It's understood, really. It's just that some people take it wayyy too far.

PS- I heart lamya baji for reasons that need no explanation. She's lamya and that's all there is to it. bye.

It was more of an epiphany than a dream.
Mind you, I was looking at pictures of a madrasah in Mauritania before I had gone to bed, so it triggered vivid dreams of my stay there. It was truly beautiful, how I was capable of stripping my identity to it's core simplicity as I prayed on the hot sand under a roof made of cloth and sticks.

As shown in a picture I had seen the night before, there were beds made of sticks about six feet high, protecting the sleeping from night visitors. At one point in my dream, I was alone, in which I was faced with my deepest fears- spiders/crawly things and a confrontation with a lion. I fell to the floor crying for Allah's mercy. That's when I woke up and I thought "Had I cried for fear of my life or that Allah would forgive me for all my sins before I became this lion's supper?"

See, we are so caught up in this dunya, that we tend to forget the simple dust we are created from. Our bodies are merely reflections of light. What we see in the mirror, is not reality, but an illusion we percieve to be real. But our soul? It belongs to Allah and the deeds that determine where our soul will rest on the Final Day are by far the most significant aspect to our identity. As said in the Quran, whoever does an atoms weight of good will see it, and whoever does an atom's weight of evil will see it (zalzalah:7-8).

If we can simplify our lives so worshipping Allah is not just something we should do, but what we survive off of, like our lungs to breathe, our heart to circulate blood, and our iman keeps us strong and alive, then why should matters like polygamy matter? If we submitted every aspect of our life to Allah, such arguments would be resolved.

True how time can heal everything, including one's irrationality. Last night, I had come across an argument concerning polygamy in Islam. A topic like this opens a whole new can of worms, in which Muslims fail to compromise over how acceptable it is for a male to marry multiple women in modern times and conditions.

It really did disturb me to see brothers near my age suggesting this desire, and looking down on my presumption that it was lust overpowering their rationale.
So I went to bed that night thinking how Allah, the Almighty could permit an action that was so controversial. I woke up remembering a dream I had, which subhana'Allah has sincerely changed my perspective on polygamy.

After the dream I had, I came to realize that if one had to truly submit themselves to Allah subhana wa ta ala, one would not reject her spouse's consideration, but rather see how an action could be rewarding for not only her but her husband. If one was to marry and love them equally solely for the conditions provided in the Quran and hadith, then what is so wrong with this exception?

If one sincerely loves the Almighty, this passion for Allah would be present in her love for her spouse. She would place this love before all emotions and then consider how reasonble it was for her husband and self.
Allahu Alim.
(by the way, don't assume that I would agree to it based on this post. I'm only encouraging that we should consider what Allah has permitted in this life as a blessing as long as we do it for the right reasons)

I like

chocolate, silence, opinion, dhikr beads, green, clouds, hummus, urban poetry, pretty voices, my family, quotes, people that care, the library, livestrong bracelets, black and white pictures, softspoken people, hands, books, polkadotted hijabs, screaming takbir on the top of my lungs, running, rainstorms, afros, reality, autumn, hayrides, mountains, sweater weather, praying outside, simplicity, laughing, intellecctual discussions, the feeling of accomplishment, recovering from failure, brotherhood, the city, foreign food, religion, the countryside, corny jokes, sisterly love, sweatshirts, fuzzy slippers, old people of wisdom, sentimental gifts, hajj, cake batter, sitting outside in the fall with hot tea in a wrapped blanket, smiling, sleeping, speaking up, brothers with a lowered gaze but the highest iman, bold sisters with humble intentions, my mother's love, my father's overprotection, hugs, poetry battles, the struggle

I don't like

spicy food, materialism, stress, ignorance, players, blood, crawling critters, chemistry, boy-craziness, hot tempers (including my own), smelly children, know-it-alls, weakness, being too fashionable, spending money, oppression, "hot" guys that know they are "hot", tight clothes, guns, assumptions, lying, shaitan, dirty jokes, laziness, messy rooms, propaganda, desi people that want to be doctors just because its the thing to do (and the money of course), the mall, girls that will do anything to get a guy's attention, office jobs, no challenges, cursing, people that use me, when things are unorganized, being late, vegetables, bright shalwar kameez, hypocrisy, saying goodbye.

Click Here to buy Zain Bhikha's new album, "Mountains of Makkah"




Click Here to view his website. mashaAllah, mashaAllah.

You know, it's quite amazing how one can selfishly believe that they are able to handle a situation that troubles them, but in fact everything collapses around them.

At times when I am on the verge of breaking down into tears and giving up hope, I realize how weak I am, really. I always have believed that I would never! I wouldn't dare fail my own iman by giving up and feeling desperately alone, as if no one was there to aid me.

Alhamdulillah, amidst the overwhelming stress from school and the pressures that high standards burden you with, I was able to recover, not so surprisingly after Isha. Althought it wasn't much of a prayer, since my mind was scattered in every direction possible, I was at least able to think about how wrong I was to break down emotionally when I knew that inside of me, outside of me, and whereever I was, there was of course, this indelible aura of Allah's existence.

His mercy engulfs us in times of struggle, yet we do not realize because Shaitan blinds us with hopelessness. His blessings are most evident in our struggles I did not realize this until the last prayer, how beautiful really, His bounties were at the moment.

And now, I sit here two days later, filling out my U. of Maryland at College Park application, online, with the remnants of my biology lab scattered on the floor (it took me 8 dark hours last night to complete, but alhamdulillah), yet I'm coping with it all and I couldn't thank God enough.


PS- Make dua that my college applications get done and I soon get accepted from my top schools, inshaAllah!

After this bad day, I hope I can sincerely say Alhamdulillah. So here goes...

ALHAMDULILLAH.

If I could, I would study to become an Alima and get an education degree. I would spread the Word to the old and the young. If I could pick a place, I would live in the urban slums and provide for the deprived through dawah and a helping hand. Maybe in Philadelphia Brooklyn or Chicago or across the seas to Africa. I would live on my knowledge. I would grow on my experience. I would die on my faith.


Allahu Alim.

"Do not be misled by hearing of anyone's reputation." -Umar Al Khattab

I read this in someone's info and found myself deeply appreciating it. I have not only judged people in the past, but so has everyone else. I mean its natural instinct for man to base his feelings of someone from his own assumptions.

It's my pet peeve, really- when people are quick to assume and leave no room to clear up the misconceptions. I've done it myself. And as cliched as it sounds, I have made quite a fool of myself. Astaghfirullah.

I hope it's possible that through this post, people can recognize possible assumptions they have made of me based on what they hear of me or judge me on, but never cared to get to know me; for those who had the chance to get to know me really well, but have misunderstood me. If this post could just buy me a clean slate and all past judgement be wiped from the minds of every man. I just hope.

Some people never change. And I love it.


PS: I have been officially nicknamed the takbir girl. Which reminds me...TAKBIR! (Allahu Akbar)

The Moon is but Old Magic. Or is it?

This is but continuous magic! We reject the warning and follow our own lusts but every matter has its appointed time.

The incandescence sheds this mysterious light over us. Surely, we know. But we deny. It's crescence, so blunt in its contour, has provided us with a Sign. "And the moon was cleft asunder" it says. Then the moon's shadow will fade, its light will rust, and its fullness will cleave in accordance to the Final Day.
We will witness what was hidden behind this intrinsic aura of the moon: Al Baatin! It is only He, yet so apparent in His Signs, he is Al Baatin! Revealing his diety only in His miracles, which molded the moon's craters and shed a glorious beauty that we only denied!

Is He truly the One? Is He existent? If not in our hearts, then where? Where is He, we ask? How foolish are we to believe in a Being that demands our submission?

But, no. we will see our Lord. Like the full moon, we will see him. Nothing will impair our view of Him. We will be slaves to His beauty. We will desire for more and more of His glory and beg to sacrifice our feeble bodies and to wipe the very existence of our being for Him only!

So we must ask,
Ya Allah, free us from our material desires. Free us from our lusts and lowliness. I beg you, let us be slaves of You only! Then surely we will have eternal freedom.

Exams are OVER! Alhamdulillah!
Today's the official beginning of the MYNA escapades. Time to get the ball rolling and make this service year another success, inshaAllah.

As for other news, I am totally chilling this four-day weekend except for occasional MYNA meetings and college apps and essays.

Someone sent me this picture titled "Sabra". It's really interesting. What's even more interesting are the conclusions that people come to when they see this piece of art, not realizing how ignorant they just might be.



See what I mean?
"On a few occasions people have referred to the figure in my print as a "terrorist." Since my work contains no text or slogans, and the figure is unarmed - that is quite a remarkable observation. How can a simple portrait of an anonymous person wearing the traditional garb of a nationality be so construed? This indicates the fundamental problem many westerners have in dealing with the Israeli - Palestinian conflict. The hopes, dreams, and aspirations of the Palestinian people are left unacknowledged because of an inability to see them as a people worthy of respect. The word "terrorist" has become a racial slur since it is usually used only in reference to Arab people." Art by Mark Vallen

Bismillah ar Rahman ir Rahim,

How else is a better way to start this entry? This weekend has overflown with unforgettable experiences, alhamdulillah. Considering it was the first time in possibly history that most Muslims throughout the WORLD have congregated for EID on the same day, it is a miracle in its entirety! Alhamdulillah!

It felt like all the stress that built up in overload was lifted from my shoulders as Muslims gathered at the local lodge rented out for Eid prayers, repeating "Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar, La ilaha Illalah!"

The 20 minute stops at friends' houses for snacks, then running off to the next family to eat up once again; Switching Eid outfits, as much as I hated it, just so aunties could brag about the latest desi fashions but I still love them anyways; adorning my hands in henna, as clumsy as I was with them as I smudged it all over my clothes and Sarah baji's carpet; watching my sunday school kids sing in the least bit of unison to Al Muallim; eating ethnic food and a lot of it; And my most favorite moment of all:

Sunday night, at the Skylands on rt. 10 was by far a historical moment for the Muslim community of Morris and Warren county. Subhanallah, Alhamdulilah, MashaAllah we raised $$$302,475.26 in order to establish a Masjid/Islamic Center in our vicinity!!!! Can I get a TAKBIR?? Allahu Akbar!!

I was enamored by this newborn unity at the fundriasing event; how hundreds of Muslims coalesced by the grace of Allah subhana wa ta ala and their sincere yearning to see the success of our Ummah through the establishment of an Islamic Center. That deserves accolade from the whole world for they will realize that Muslims CAN do it. They can love, unite, and all that mushy stuff. Most importantly, only Allah can be truly pleased with our beautiful ummah.

And I end with this (sorry, can't help it but it's so ideal for the situation right now:)

Let the Ummah rise again
Let us see daylight again
Once again

Let’s become whole again
Proud again
’Cause I swear with firm belief in our hearts
We can bring back the glory of our past

My brothers, my sisters, in Islam
Let’s struggle, work, and pray
If we are to
Bring back the glory of his way


Ya Allah ya rabbal ‘alamin
Ya rahmanu ya rahim
Ya rabbi
O Allah Lord of the Worlds
O Merciful and Beneficent
O my Lord

Islamic Society of North Jersey
Sunday School Dinner [November 5, 2005]:
FOOD!!!


Cotton Candy :-D


Singing Al'Muallim:

It's 12:30 am Friday night. I just finished a 350 page SAT prep book for the biology subject test. in 3 days. That's a lotta crammin', no? dang. I'm burnt, beat, and sooo busstedd for this test. Keep me in the duas.

I should be studying right now, but instead, I've been reading some old posts of mine and realized how dramatic I am. Haha, I mean at least every other post is saturated with emotion and it's almost depressing. Sorry, people but I guess that's my life. I have yet another issue to address in my blog, soon, but only for my own benefit because once again, this blog is an outlet for my insane emotions. Here, I can be myself. No worries about what people think of me because I wouldn't have to hear it. Despite some of the comments you all leave me, I feel like it's too late for your comments to really impact me in such a way that I regret expressing my emotions and addressing what concerns me.

So I apologize if my posts are overwhelming, but this is who I am, this is how I feel and God bless you for giving my voice the time of day.

EID MUBARAK ya'll :)
Takbir! Allahu Akbar. Takbir! Allahu Akbar! Takbir! Allahu Akbar!

These are the days of Eid,
Make Takbir wherever you are.
These are the days,
Allahu Akbar!

These are the days of Eid,
Sing together everyone!
La Ilaha Ill Allah Wa Lillah Hil Hamd!!!

"And perform prayer and give charity and whatever of good you send forth for yourselves before you, you shall find it with Allah. Certainly Allah is All Seer of what you do. [Quran 2-110]

P.S.- I'm not much of a henna fan. But since Sheema and Safa baji so skillfully drew their artistic curves and lines on my hand, I couldn't help but appreciate it :)

excerpt from Shaykh Khalid Yaseen's "Purpose of Life"

How could a man who never left the Arabian peninsula? A man who never sailed on a ship? How could a man raised in the desert, an uneducated shephard know?

Read! In the name of your Sustainer, who has created man from a clot. Read – for your Sustainer is the Most Bounteous. (Surat al-Alaq, 1-3)
Does man think that he will be left uncontrolled, (without purpose)? Was he not a drop of sperm emitted (in lowly form)? Then he became a clot; then Allah made and fashioned him in due proportion. And made of him a pair, the male and the female. (Surat al-Qiyama, 36-39)


How did the Prophet Muhammad know that the embryo started out hanging to the wall of the mother's womb? Did he have a telescope? Did he have some kind of Xray vision? How did he receive this knowledge when this was just discovered 47 years ago?

How did he know that the oceans had a barrier between them to separate the salt and the fresh water? How did he know that?

"It is He Who has let free the two bodies of flowing water: One palatable and sweet, and the other salt and bitter; yet has He made a barrier between them, a partition that is forbidden to be passed." (Sura 25:53; Yusuf Ali)

How did he know that the sun, the moon, and the planet were swinging in an orbit that was ordered for them? It is He Who created the night and the day, and the sun and the moon. They swim along, each in an orbit. (Surat al-Anbiya, 33)

How did Muhammad know them fifteen hundred years ago? An uneducated shepherd who could not read or write, a man raised in the desert, how could he say something like this? How could he produce something like this? How could anyone else living with him before and after, produce something that has been discovered recently? Impossible

Also if this is not enough, let me mention to you that the Qur’an has 114 chapters, over 6000 verses and there were hundreds of people in the time of the prophet Muhammad who memorized this book entirely. Was he come kind of genius? How did that happen? Did anyone memorize any of the gospels? Did anyone memorize the Torah? The Psalms? The Old and the New Testament? Nobody, not even the pope himself. But there are millions of Muslims today, who has memorized the entire book. This is the ambition of every Muslims. Not some but every Muslims. How many Christians have you meet in your life that as memorized the Bible? You have never meet any Christians that memorized the Bible because you have never meet a Christian who even knew what word the whole Bible. Because the Christians themselves have over 700 different denominations and there are around 39 different versions of the Bible with different books and different versions, with different amount of verses and different amount of chapters and they don’t agree to that. So how could they even memorize what they don’t agree about?

Finally, this book, Qur’an, has been universally preserved without the slightest alternation of any kind in fifteen centuries.

If all of these are true, and if it is all true, would you agree that this book is quite profound and unique to say the least? Would you be honest enough to say that? Of course you would if you are honest.

[Listen to this lecture]

It's almost 2 in the morning and I just finished a biology lab. If I didn't procrastinate to the last minute, I would have had this done hours ago. I hate procrastinating. How does one stop? Is this a major symptom of senioritis? I'm sure there's a cure...but we're just to lazy to find it :).

So I'm going to head off to bed now, steering my mind clear of stress and reminiscing over the beautiful experiences I have undergone and can possibly undergo by the grace of Allah.

Like when Elissa and I went pumpkin-picking on the ripest of all Autumn days and ended the night with some good sushi at Fujiyama. Mmhm.